Christina, I swear we are on the same wavelength. I wrote recently - “could it be helpful to untangle our need for action from our feelings of fault/shame? To separate the desire for change from the belief that we must be wrong or ashamed to take action?”
Crazy!!! yessss this is exactly where i'm coming from?! like how can I motivate myself and have agency to "take control of my life" without also blaming myself for when things go wrong? in a way, maybe we can't have one without the other?!
Great Share - I think the Key Delineation to make here is between 'Control' and 'Influence'.
Control means that we have power over the ultimate outcome - which is false.
We can do everything right, play a perfect game - and still lose to blind-luck and damnable Fate.
Similarly we can be dealt a bad hand - bad family + poor environment - and Still come out on top.
All that we can, and that our environments, do - is *Influence* the percentages a bit.
We 'stack the deck in our favor' so to speak -
By developing better habits, nurturing healthy social connections, and doing our best to act wisely upon the knowledge and resources available to us -
But none of these guarantee the actual outcome.
They just push the needle and provide more pathways for favorable outcomes to occur.
A way to think about it is:
Moment to moment - we have some control, and each time we exercise it that adds up to the overall direction we are influencing our lives in - but the actual outcome - That's where we surrender to the great mystery. - I'd just rather surrender when the chances are stacked 80/20 in my favor rather than against me ;D
Thanks for sharing Seth! I really appreciate you sharing this, and I think being able to know and understand the difference between control and influence is huge. And often times we view having agency in our lives as controlling the outcome which you are right is completely false. Surrender is faith in the universe that we try our best and the rest will get taken care of!
Great writing and very provoking thoughts. I think there is no set answer. It depends what kind of illness. However, we may have the power to heal ourselves from the disease sometimes but other times, we just have to surrender to be the present
Christina, I swear we are on the same wavelength. I wrote recently - “could it be helpful to untangle our need for action from our feelings of fault/shame? To separate the desire for change from the belief that we must be wrong or ashamed to take action?”
Crazy!!! yessss this is exactly where i'm coming from?! like how can I motivate myself and have agency to "take control of my life" without also blaming myself for when things go wrong? in a way, maybe we can't have one without the other?!
Great Share - I think the Key Delineation to make here is between 'Control' and 'Influence'.
Control means that we have power over the ultimate outcome - which is false.
We can do everything right, play a perfect game - and still lose to blind-luck and damnable Fate.
Similarly we can be dealt a bad hand - bad family + poor environment - and Still come out on top.
All that we can, and that our environments, do - is *Influence* the percentages a bit.
We 'stack the deck in our favor' so to speak -
By developing better habits, nurturing healthy social connections, and doing our best to act wisely upon the knowledge and resources available to us -
But none of these guarantee the actual outcome.
They just push the needle and provide more pathways for favorable outcomes to occur.
A way to think about it is:
Moment to moment - we have some control, and each time we exercise it that adds up to the overall direction we are influencing our lives in - but the actual outcome - That's where we surrender to the great mystery. - I'd just rather surrender when the chances are stacked 80/20 in my favor rather than against me ;D
Thanks for sharing Seth! I really appreciate you sharing this, and I think being able to know and understand the difference between control and influence is huge. And often times we view having agency in our lives as controlling the outcome which you are right is completely false. Surrender is faith in the universe that we try our best and the rest will get taken care of!
Great writing and very provoking thoughts. I think there is no set answer. It depends what kind of illness. However, we may have the power to heal ourselves from the disease sometimes but other times, we just have to surrender to be the present
Thanks baba for sharing! Yes surrendering to the present moment because in a way its the only thing we do have "control" over.